“Choose not to be harmed, and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
How do you become happy? Is it a choice that you make, simply to take life as it comes, screw on your head straight, and just be happy? Or is happiness a by-product of success – an after “oh, well look at that, I’m happy” phenomenon? What does a consistently happy and peaceful person actually look like? Do I live among them? Is it even possible to be happy, consistently, given the day to day sufferings inherent to life – the fact that we get sick, break our bones and our hearts, all the while loved ones are dying around us, and in but a blink of the timescale of man, we too will soon join them death? School didn’t teach us how to become happy and well adjusted – it taught us to work – so where next does one look for these answers?
These are the sorts of “perennial questions” one asks themselves in the middle of an ego-filled existential crisis, particularly one which comes during one of life’s pivotal transition periods. As Carl Rogers mused in On Becoming A Person, “I cannot help but puzzle over the meaning of what I observe.” To ask the great philosophical questions – “What is my goal in life?” “What do I strive for?” “What is the meaning of my life?” – that’s just what I do. It’s just the way my brain is wired, so I play along, and try to ride out each crisis as it comes, and I hope to learn something along the way.